Scars on our Souls
by Bibliophile Anya
Summary: Even before a drop of water lands in water,it distorts the air. The same could be applied to my rebirth; even before it, it has caused unprecedented ripples. Twin to one of the most deranged characters. And born in a family doomed to destroy itself. I won't let it happen. I won't let the soulmark deter me nor my visions-Fem Seer SI/OC as Bellatrix's twin X TMR/LV; Soulmarks AU.
1. Prologue

**Scars on our Souls** by **_Bibliophile Anya_**

**Complete Summary:**

Even before a drop of water lands in water, it distorts the air. The same could be applied to my rebirth; even before it, it has caused unprecedented ripples. Reincarnated in the most fantasized fictional world. Twin to one of the most deranged characters. And born in a family doomed to destroy itself. I won't let it happen. I won't let the soulmark deter me, neither would I falter to these visions. Fem Seer SI/OC as Bellatrix's twin X TMR/LV; Soulmarks AU.

**Disclaimer:** Harry Potter doesn't belong to me in any way or form. Neither am I making any profit from it.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

**Chapter 1: Prologue**

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**Prologue**

After all, to the well organised mind death is but the next great adventure. – Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter; J.K. Rowling.

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I remembered. That is all I could say. I don't know why me, or how, just that it was me. No matter how many proofs are thrown my way, that it was supposed to be me, I find it hard to believe in.

I was reincarnated. I wouldn't say I didn't ponder upon the concept. It was always an interesting one to me. But what had me bewildered was where I was reborn.

I was reborn in a world of magic. A world which was a fantasy tale in my last life, which was on every person's mind, be it a child, teen or adult; at least once in their life.

I never thought it would happen with me. After my agonizing, merciless death…

Living again. Feeling again. After being robbed of everything. My dignity, my sight…

Suddenly I see, I feel. I feel what I wasn't supposed to. I feel magic. I see what I shouldn't. I see the before, the after, the unseen.

It was bewildering. It had me in hysterics. It was exhilarating. I doubt I have the words to explain my situation to you. You wouldn't be able to imagine, least of all comprehend. And I don't mean it in an offensive way.

Then the whole other can of worms… Soulmate.

I have always yearned for my soulmate. A significant other, tied to me by the red string of fate. Two halves of a whole. The yang to my yin, you name it…

Yes, I was a hopeless romantic. I would have loved to be loved wholeheartedly, desperately, passionately; that's why I had enjoyed such stories, such vivid imagination sprouted forth by various ideas. And thus, the concept of soulmarks always intrigued me… I adored to read about them, in a world I no longer lived in.

So I don't know, I didn't know whether to be fascinated or torn in between horror and exhilaration when I had one, when it appeared. The soulmark, I mean. It was the proof of my weird existence.

It wasn't as if I was in my world, either! No! Like I said before, I was reborn anew, askance in a world that was the major constituent of the topmost best-selling novellas ever written. A family which was depicted to be destroyed by their own insanity. A twin who had no moral compass, was the veritable definition of insane and deranged and who was obsessed with a heartless psychopath.

I didn't know whether to laugh unbelievably or to sob my heart out when I saw things I shouldn't. When I saw glimpses of what should've have been, what should be and what was.

That's not including the butterfly effect my birth has caused. The ripples that were long ago formed before my birth.

My beliefs? I am not arrogant enough to assume I know everything about this world. Nor I am going to judge them on what I bloody read once!

That would be completely wrong because these aren't fictional characters anymore. These are living breathing humans, made up of flesh and blood.

Thus judging my family, my twin sister Bellatrix as deranged when she was just a harmless babe now wasn't something I should do. And if so with Bellatrix then I had no right to judge Tom Riddle either.

Saying and doing or thinking and acting upon are two very different things. What a hypocrite I am…

Being a seer didn't help… Or perhaps it did. I don't know. I came to understand that a seer and a prophet are two very different things. Professor Trelawney who gave prophecies was a prophet whereas I was a seer. I would learn about it as I grew.

Growing up was beyond difficult. I could see why Bellatrix became what she had. After all my named father Cygnus Black was merely a teen, a thirteen year old when I was born. I am not even his daughter. He was forced to wed Druella Rosier the mistress of the Lord of his House Arcturus Black when she found out she was pregnant. And then there is the rage of the Lady of the House Mellania Black who abhorred the bastard children of her Lord husband and his mistress. The proof of his unfaithfulness.

But my twin Bellatrix wasn't as detested as I was. After all I inherited the beauteous delicate features of Druella Rosier. Her gold spun hair and pale violet eyes which shimmered silver; a perfect mix of Arcturus and Druella. Magic caused genetics to work in wondrous ways, as it wouldn't have been possible for my eyes to have that colour, an assortment of two alleles.

Even though we were twins, Bellatrix and I never had a good relationship. She always resented me. For my mothers love and features, for my sisters' adoration, for my soulmate. I tried to show her she had as much if not more than me… After all the other members of House Black all preferred her. But for her it was never enough. I'd learn she really did have a toxic personality.

Druella Black, formerly Rosier, my birth mother. She would not ever replace the mother I had in my previous life, but she became my confidant, the person I trusted the most, in this one. She was the epitome of what a Slytherin should be. She was gorgeous, a fact that made the Lady of the House dislike her all the more. With gold spun long hair, that cascaded down in gentle waves down her back, feminine features with wide dark violet eyes, pert nose, full lips she looked like the ideal pureblood beauty. Bellatrix inherited her eyes. I could see now, who Narcissa would take after in attitude.

You would think I should've resented her for being who she was, for my actual father, for her mistakes which brought us the wrath of the Lady of our House, but I accepted her.

I don't understand how could someone do that? Cheat on their own wife… Go after a married man… In this world of soulmarks. Perhaps they weren't each other's soulmates, I wouldn't know. After all soulmarks were private, personal. Showing them was equal to baring yourself. You must maintain discretion with even your parents or family members, especially in the pureblood families. It was similar to arming them with your deepest secret. And despite heralding Mother Magic and her given soulmarks the blood purity was imbedded in their minds.

The arranged marriages occurred unless you found an appropriate pureblood spouse with your own mark. They were rare. Blood bigotry and inbreeding is the reason for the decline in sanity.

Yes, blood was important. I would understand it later but it wasn't everything.

There were dark and bright spots and shades of grey. Like my little sisters, like adorable Sirius and wondrous Regulus. My conflicting thoughts on my soulmate, my envious twin. The most beautiful of all, magic…

This life was tumulus, uncertain but it was mine. And I owed it to myself to live it to the fullest.

I was Mira Black. A common name to appease the loathing heart of Mellania Black nee Macmillan bestowed by the Lady Black herself. Whatever you would say about Druella Rosier, she was a true Slytherin. Despite Mellania's otherwise thought it was Druella who edged her towards my name.

After all, Mira is the common name for Omicron Ceti, the most notable star in the constellation Cetus. It's a binary star consisting of a red giant and a white dwarf; the closest symbiotic pair of stars to the Sun. It meant 'wonderful, astonishing' in Latin the magical language.

A seemingly insignificant name… But then so was Tom Riddle… What a fitting pair magic made…

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Notes:

Another Self-Insert ... I will be uploading a few more then focusing on one of two completely... High chance of this one being one of them!  
Please leave yours thoughts, thank you for reading!

Cross posted from ao3

-_Anya_


	2. C1: Bonding with Bella and Druella

**Chapter 1: Bonding with Bella and Druella**

Chapter Summary:

Druella as my mother, the birth of Andy and the most important of all Bella.

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I was three when I first met my so called father. Cygnus Black looked at me with disdain swimming in his eyes.

Andromeda was born and this time it was ensured that she was the daughter of Cygnus Black, never mind the fact that he did not even reach the age of maturity at the time of her birth.

Druella had both me and Bellatrix in the playpen as she was attending to Andromeda.

He dismissed Bellatrix who was leaning towards him. But as he took Andromeda in his arms his entire demeanour softened.

Druella looked at him placidly and turned towards me and secretly winked at me.

Age three was the first stage of magical core development and I surprisingly for the others and unsurprisingly for me had a large core which was developing fast. Apparently, my brain especially, had rapid development.

Bellatrix as of now was a needy demanding child who already had tendencies of being a psychopath much like what Dumbledore pointed out Tom Riddle for being.

Even now Bellatrix hated to share attention and tried to sabotage those others around me and also me which amused me to no end as her childish attempts were cute but if you see it in a psychological aspect, it was worrying. Being a Black gave her a lot of leeway. Blacks weren't known for their sanity and they had a very skewed moral compass.

Druella and I were thick as thieves. She understood on a basic level that I was not a normal child but then again so wasn't Bellatrix, like I said being a Black was very beneficial in that aspect. It took me a year to warm up to her but it is hard not to love a person who loves you with their entire being endlessly.

And my twin being Bellatrix, it was easier to love me. I won't say Druella was the epitome of a good mother but Bellatrix was a difficult child. I really do wonder what happened in the original series. I centered her, Druella I mean. I had her looks and Black features too. I was the proof she hadn't made a mistake.

I think originally she would have worn down, becoming cold and aloof. After Cygnus left, Druella put us all to bed.

I stumbled out of my small bed and tumbled into her room. I found her singing a lullaby to the sleeping Andromeda in the cot. I was too big for cots as it was concluded after I reached my first magical maturity.

"Oh, hello sweetheart, you should have been in bed, shouldn't you?" She greeted me with a warm smile.

"Mmhmm, cannot sleep." I replied as she scooped me up in her arms. Turning away from her and facing towards the cot I leaned and stroked baby Andromeda's chubby cheeks. She scrunched her nose cutely and as I started playing with her tiny hand she grasped my finger in a firm grasp.

Druella let out a tinkling laugh at my dopey look. I was so besotted with that baby. But I had always loved babies in general and wanted loads of kids in my past life which I never got to chance to. So I think I can be excused.

"My, aren't you the precious older sister?" Druella said with a soft smile. "She should have been your sibling and not your half sister." She murmured.

i don't think I was supposed to hear that, or even understand it.

Pausing I turned back to her. Grabbing her cheeks I smooshed her face and replied, "My sister."

"Her mother is mine so my sister." I enunciated firmly or as well I could being three.

Her eyes widened and they shone a wet sheen.

"Oh I must have done something right to have a babe as precious as you. You haven't had any more visions, have you love?" She asked as if fearing the worst.

The visions as we called them started soon as I turned three, infact the first one I had was the day I turned three.

I felt like I was lucid dreaming since I had it in my sleep. It was of me entering a grand room, a ball of some sorts perhaps? I didn't look much older but the magic overflowing around me felt as if I had reached my second stage of maturity that means around seven years of age.

I saw myself and my sisters along with mother and Cygnus Black were introduced and we descended down the spiraling grand staircase. My inner Cinderella was squealing in delight, I am sure.

Magic seemed to flow here, strong powerful magic intermixing ceaselessly. Mage sense was an actual thing. Not everybody was capable of it. It was like sound colour synaesthesia. But the only difference was that it seemed mage sense encompassed the sound colour synaesthesia. The easiest way to describe it was that some people's magic could be seen as colours, some heard and a few rare ones both. I would find out more later but that was primarily what I glimpsed in the vision.

I saw us greeting nameless faces, it all passed in a blur until rich red eyes met mine. And then it all ended. Everything faded away as if leached of colour.

That was the same day, the day I turned three, that my soulmark appeared.

I snapped out of my musings as I was placed back into my room. As soon as Druella closed the door a riot of curly hairs peeked out under my bed. Rolling, coming to a stop around me she stood up and stared solemnly at me.

I was endlessly amused, "Oh Bella-Belle that is not ladylike at all."

"Mira went to see the baby." Bellatrix spoke softly, ignoring my earlier words which never failed to bring a reaction in her.

"She is our sister." I replied as I looked at her carefully trying to decipher her.

"Mira loves her?" Bellatrix asked.

"Of course I do." I answered back instantly.

Bellatrix's lower lip wobbled, "Mira doesn't want Bella as her sister anymore?"

All thoughts forgotten I lurched forward and grabbed Bella in a hug, surprising her, "Oh Bella you will always be my twin, my sister I will always love you no matter what. Why did you even think that?" And that was the truth, it didn't matter if she turned out to be same as that fictional character, I will always love her.

I tended to forget that Bella was a child here, not at fault. She didn't commit any heinous crime. I still acted wary at times that had to hurt. And children read the atmosphere quicker than adults. I wonder if Druella was subconsciously picking up on that. For priding myself of being nonjudgemental this wasn't the appropriate behaviour. What a hypocrite I am, look at Bella being surprised by a hug initiated by me.

"Because that's what everyone does. They forget Bella! The Head Lady is cruel and the Head Lord always stays silent. You don't like Bella anymore too! You focus all your attention on that baby. Mother liked you more. And Father doesn't pay attention to Bella, he hates her! Everybody hates Bella no matter what Bella does! Bella is your twin sister, they said something must be wrong because we don't stay together. Magical twins are sacred, they are close."

She sobbed harshly on my shoulder. "Bella hates them. Wants to hurt them badly. They say you are not a Black. Bella wants to hear them scream and see that pretty red juice flow out. You are a Black! The Blackiest of them all, you are Bella's twin!"

Black madness is a thing. Bellatrix is affected. To think of it, the Black madness appeared in this generation with a vengeance. Look at Bellatrix, Sirius' fit of madness when he went after revenge against Pettrigrew, Regulus foolhardy behaviour of going off on his own on dying.

I didn't know how I would handle it in the future, but for now I merely held her close as she sobbed her little heart out on me, drenching my shoulder with snot and tears. I murmured assurances of my love and support trying to assuage her fears holding her tightly.

I wasn't a good twin up till now but now I will do my best, regardless if she turns out to be that Bella, I would accept all of her and only try to mitigate the damage.

As she looked at me with a flushed face, appearing like the poster child of a crying baby, I wiped her tears delicately by the tips of my fingers.

"Do you know why Mira calls you Bella-Belle?" I asked her gently.

She shook her head in a meek negative. I disliked my vivacious sister being reduced to this. And it was mostly my fault.

I had to rectify that and soon.

"Belle means a beautiful girl, especially the most beautiful at a particular event. I use it in the context that means you are the belle of my life."

And as I look back on it I realise how much of it was the truth. She was with me in those hazy suffocating memories of being in the womb, my partner, my aid in this life. Druella didn't really need me, I mean yes she did but not in the way Bella did. The pure way of a child. She was my baby sister. My center before Andy arrived.

And as she smiled a big watery smile I vowed to protect this smile, to remember that at the core Bellatrix Black would always remain my Bella-Belle. She smiled with her entire soul, it showed in her eyes. There was a reason magical eyes were of such varied and unique colours especially in the pure blood families. Her eyes glowed violet in sync with her emotions and unknowingly my own glimmered back, a lilac silver.

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**Notes**:

Apologies for the late update!  
Thank you for the amazing response! Best wishes for the New Year!

My  
Instagram : bibliophile_anya/

~Anya


	3. C2: Narcissa and The beginning of change

**Scars on our Souls **by **_Bibliophile Anya_**

**Disclaimer:** Harry Potter doesn't belong to me in any way or form. Neither am I making any profit from it.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

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**Chapter 2: Narcissa and The beginning of change **

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_You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending._** –C.S. Lewis**

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Keeping my promise was easier said than done when after Andy we got another addition in our dysfunctional family in the form of Narcissa.

Andy was quite like me and Bella; mischievous, enthusiastic and intense in her affection. Narcissa though, even as a baby was silent and gentle. She rarely cried and when she did, it was soft sobs rather than bawling. I would never doubt her affection towards us. She was her own personal brand of intense. It was in the little things she did. Getting teary eyed and her baby grasp tightening whenever she thought Bella and Andy were taking my attention.

She was also very curious. I could always see her baby blues peering at the world taking note of each and every person interacting with her; a keen observer. What both Andy and Narcissa had in common was favouring their elder sisters. Andy after that rocky start was surprisingly close to Bella whereas Narcissa loved me, loved being held by me, snuggling with me. I could see Druella mentally awing every time that happened. Druella like I have said before and will say it again was not a bad mother. But yet again she favoured Narcissa over Andy like she did me over Bella.

It's fine though, I will make sure to recompense wherever I could.

As I lay on my bed looking at the intricate ceiling, my eyes started closing on their own accord. But before I could fall asleep, I felt a vision ensnaring my senses.

_When I looked up into red eyes they stared at me with a detached curiosity. I felt amusement and anger surge up, how snobbish of him._

_The same low lived orphan, top of his throne acting as if he knew better. This is the man that's my soulmate the one who was insane who led the entire magical world into madness destroying my family in a once read fictional world._

_Step off your high horse darling, you are in for a surprise if you think I will be easily subjugated._

_A quick glance sideways showed me Bella's fascinated expression and my anger turned cold and my resolve strengthened._

_Two can play this game._

_I heard Bella's breathy, "My Lord." She looked drunk off his magic. And truthfully if I hadn't been accustomed to his magic from the years of visions I would have had a similar reaction. As it were, I kept my erratically behaving magic firm in my hold which was proving to be difficult because it had a mind of its own; trying to intertwine with his._

_"Have you waited long for me, my Lord?" I quipped sarcastically._

_I felt his magic come alive, wrap around mine with an all-consuming hunger and his eyes sharpened into a bright red, irises glowing as everyone staggered around me with the weight of his magic, all I could do was shudder in the warm feeling it brought me._

_No! This isn't the way I will meet my all powerful soulmate, weak, young and untrained. Here in the midst of high society with politicians and nobles frolicking around like sharks waiting for the slightest scent of blood. It has to be on my terms, I decided stubbornly._

_And I felt the vision waver and fade just as he replied just as possessive as the words crawled on my body._

I would never meet him in such a vulnerable state. He will hoard me like his prized possessions; every action would be under careful action and scrutiny. That's the person he was. I cannot meet him as his soulmate until at least I turn of age.

I thought I was done being short tempered in my last life. That sarcastic quip would've destroyed my life.

I do realize that's what would have happened if I hadn't been born as a seer. But as my resolve strengthened, the opposite happened, the surroundings were being leached of colours, voices muted and sounding from far away.

_And I was seeing again. I looked older, my magic was blaring bright and centered. I had turned into a woman as the magic showed that I had finished my age of maturity. Only this time I was dressed head to toe in lilac robes, extravagant gorgeous dresses and jewelry inlaid with bright silver, white gold anf platinum. I looked ready for war. It was the gala for the coming of age ceremony for Bellatrix and me. The only thing that was distinct in my vision were my words "Have you waited long for me, my Lord?" Though this time my voice was smooth, lilting and the quirk of my painted lips showed that I was clearly amused. His eyes widened and he lost his composure._

I gasped a heaving breath as I came out of it.

Rubbing my eyes I leaned out of my bed. I felt restless. And just like the first time I had a vision I headed off to Druella, I mean mother's chambers. I know on a mental level that I don't consider as my mother but instincts are harder to control. Even more than that as I entered and saw her sleeping peacefully my gait didn't falter as I reached for Narcissa's crib.

I don't know whether I was heading for the safety that this biological body's mother provided or the soothing comfort of a baby that gave me reassurance; perhaps both.

She was wide awake her baby blues staring at me. What a unique baby. She silently held up her hands not even making grabby motions, and snuggled in my chest tangling her fingers in my hair as soon as I held her. As I kissed the top of her forehead she shyly met my gaze and gently nudged her nose to mine in an Eskimo kiss. Perhaps that wasn't what she was hoping for; judging by her cute little frown but it became a tradition for Narcissa and me from then.

Some things aren't meant to be changed. People eventually end up with who they were meant to be with it. And I don't even mean romantically. But what I didn't know was here and now the lines were drawn. I became the safe haven for Blacks, even though no matter what I do Sirius would always be James' just like Bella would always be Voldemort's but they would come back to me. As for my hesitant three, Narcissa, Regulus and Andromeda who always tethered in between and chose sides due to obligations and family they became mine in a way my twin or the heir of my house couldn't ever be.

That was the first snippet of future I had changed, it wouldn't be the last. And like cascading dominos I had prevented a particular future... The scariest thing about my sight is that the outcomes are lot like possibilities, for each vision I change, I see how that timeline could have ended up being, yet again in mere glimpses. But even that is enough. They come in the form of inconsistent images with barely audible voices, lifeless surroundings sometimes like a particular badly shot movie, glitches.

My thoughts always turned into a convoluted mess after they crept on me. They left me disturbed even the good events. How to distinguish between reality and fantasy? Especially when once upon a time, it was supposed to be your reality. All that leads to is insanity. It's terrifying watching your own life, or others close to you with indifferent emotions and scenarios that would have been had I not interfered. A spectator observing a TV screen with bad reception.

But that's what I will learn gradually. That's how it goes. If I have enough will to change them I have to muster equal strength to face the consequences.

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**Authors Note:**

A thousand apologies for the late update! Thank you for the amazing response. Stay home and safe! Practice social distancing and quarantine yourself if that's the law passed in your country. India is in lockdown. So I had hoped to post this two weeks ago, but I was stuck halfway and then family and being a couch potato took a lot of my time. Anybody participating in Camp NaNoWriMo?

And I have written new stories, all SI/OCs, rebirth, strong female protagonists of course! As you can see I am a sucker for those.

-Anya


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